Carol A. More, Artist
cold wax, oil, found ephemera on oil paper
2017 – NFS
Tears, a study
I began to create art (in a frenzy) during a time in my life when everything I believed was true was anything but. I had never felt so lost, betrayed and left behind. Nothing at all made sense. And since I’ve promised to always be honest here, I nearly lost my life. Nothing could have ever prepared me to walk through this fire. Nothing. I realized it then and I realize it now….I had to walk through it. No shortcuts. No easy paths. No side trips. Straight through.
I cried more tears than I thought possible. For the first time in 5 decades on earth I felt my heart literally break.
It was at this time I began an art journal. I never pretended it was ‘art’, but I knew that by pouring out my grief, confusion and sadness on the page, I felt a subtle trace of hope. Page by page, I sought the truth by digging deep, scrawling words across the pages and then burying them beneath countless layers of paint, gel medium, gesso, paper. The first step out of the depths of grief is a tiny glimmer of hope. One day, it was much more than a glimmer, but a blindingly beautiful spotlight that has burned brighter with each day.
An Art Journal to Heal
I never look through this journal – I’ve even considered burning it. But it’s my testament to healing and reaching the other side and for that reason alone, it remains. I was raised in a Christian home and I believe in angels. There were so many who crossed my path then and now.
“tomorrow will come”
Journal Entry – Carol A. More
Madisyn Taylor wrote,
“When we give in to the prickling behind our eyes and the lump in our throat to let teardrops fall from our eyes, we allow our feelings to surface so they can be set free. Shedding tears can sometimes make us feel better, although it can feel like the tears will never end once the floodgates are open. There is no shame in letting tears flow freely and frequently. Tears are as natural to us as is breathing. There is beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to shed tears. Open up, release your tears, and let your feelings flow.”
To this I say, amen. Amen.